I'm your wicked Uncle Ernie... but no fiddling about today!
It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas; Ev'rywhere you go; Take a look in the five and ten glistening once again; With candy canes and silver lanes aglow.
Waiting in our inbox this evening was an unexpected treat that warmed the festive cockles of our heart. It's been a pretty good couple of months already with BBC nonces exposed, Newsnight's dropped bollock on the McAlpine affair and George Entwistle paid £450k for achieving Sweet Fanny Adams.
Ian Doyle, the Brylcreemed goon made famous by TV Licensing's botched attempt to shaft Michael Shakespeare, has been captured on YouTube terrorising the legally licence free again. He might not be wearing glasses on this latest adventure, but there's no mistaking his hypnotic tones or tessellating brow lines. It must be heartening for Doyle to realise that his bosses consider him expendable by sending him out on all the high profile jobs.
Doyle is the lead Capita gobshite in today's 20 minute offering. He was attempting, very unsuccessfully, to execute a search warrant at the property of amateur film maker Danny Allen. We've followed Danny's YouTube channel for a very long time and are under no doubt at all that he does not require a TV licence.
The footage begins with Danny and his friend answering a knock at the door. They actually open the porch window and engage in dialogue with the Police Sergeant standing outside, who quickly identifies the fact he is accompanying TV Licensing as they execute a search warrant.
Legal arguments ensue about whether the warrant, granted under section 366 of the Communications Act 2003, is legally valid without the consent of the occupier. Should the occupier be legally compelled to prove a negative, solely to satisfy the curiosity of an organisation he has no legal business with? It's all very interesting, although veers a bit close to the Freeman of the Land ideology for our liking.
At one point Doyle tries, unsuccessfully again, to get the police officers to arrest the occupier for obstructing the warrant, but his request falls on deaf ears. They no doubt recognised the farcical situation unfolding before their eyes, with an occupier refusing to prove his innocence to TV Licensing when they had no evidence whatsoever of his guilt.
Doyle had lost all control of the situation by the time he attempted, unsuccessfully again, to caution the individuals peering through the porch window. He then abandons the visit with his tail between his legs, having failed to secure entry to the property. It just goes to show how weak TV Licensing's rarer than hen's teeth search warrants actually are. The Police Sergeant, obviously somewhat amused by the situation, manages a cheery wave goodbye as he walks down the garden path.
Our advice to anyone finding themselves in a similar predicament, TV Licensing on the doorstep with a search warrant, would be to allow them access to your property. The search warrant, whether obtained by fair means or foul, represents the will of the court and should be complied with. Humorous as Danny's video is, there is the distinct possibility the court will take umbrage at his lack of co-operation. As he genuinely doesn't require a TV licence, he may have unnecessarily caused problems for himself.
This video will be a serious embarrassment to the BBC, TV Licensing and Capita because it demonstrates just how little authority their employees have. It also shows that they can't rely on the unequivocal support of the police during an enforcement visit.
That's a message they really don't want made public, so please shout it from the roof tops!
Edit (16/11/13): We have just posted the final outcome of Danny Allen's search warrant obstruction case.