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This blog is to highlight the unjust persecution of legitimate non-TV users at the hands of TV Licensing. These people do not require a licence and are entitled to live without the unnecessary stress and inconvenience caused by TV Licensing's correspondence and employees.

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Saturday, 12 January 2013

TV Licensing PR: Truly Remarkable

A new year heralds a new crop of mass distributed TV Licensing press releases.

Few people realise that whenever they read an article about TV Licensing it was invariably planted by their PR people. TV Licensing "spokespeople" are actually employed by one of their PR contractors.

This time the topic is black and white television. Did you realise that there are still just over 13,000 black and white TV licences in force across the UK? No? Nor did we, but that figure is, erm, in the words of TV Licensing, "remarkable". In fact it's so remarkable that TV Licensing's massed army of PR harlots have been out in force saying just how remarkable it is.

TV Licensing's Stephen Farmer said: "It's remarkable that with the digital switchover complete, 41% of UK households owning HDTVs and Britons leading the world in accessing TV content over the internet, more than 13,000 households still watch their favourite programmes on a black-and-white telly."

Such a remarkable statistic didn't escape the notice of East Midlands TV Licensing PR man Mark Whitehouse either: "It's remarkable that with the digital switchover complete, 41 per cent of UK households owning HDTVs and Britons leading the world in accessing TV content over the internet more than 13,000 households still watch their favourite programmes on a black and white telly."

Meanwhile, over in the North of England, such remarkableness was also apparent to TV Licensing's Lucy Baird: "It's remarkable that with the digital switchover complete, 41 per cent of UK households owning HDTVs and Britons leading the world in accessing TV content over the internet, more than 13,000 households still watch their favourite programmes on a black and white telly."

Fergus Reid, who works for TV Licensing PR contractor Smarts, decided he also wanted a piece of the remarkable action: "It's remarkable that, with the digital switchover complete, 41% of UK households owning HDTVs and Britons leading the world in accessing TV content over the internet, more than 13,000 households still watch their favourite programmes on a black and white telly."

TV Licensing PR man Warren Carr has also been dabbling in remarkable claims in the Swindon Advertiser: "It's remarkable that, with the digital switchover complete, 41 per cent of UK households owning HDTVs and Britons leading the world in accessing TV content over the internet more than 13,000 households watch a black and white telly."

Deborah King has also been spreading the gospel according to TV Licensing over in Northern Ireland: "It's remarkable that, with the digital switchover complete, 41 per cent of UK households owning HDTVs and Britons leading the world in accessing TV content over the internet more than 13,000 households watch a black and white telly."

Completing the national picture is TV Licensing PR flunky Victoria Sykes, who, as you've probably guessed by now, was in awe at the number of black and white licences still in force: "It's remarkable that with the digital switchover complete, 41 per cent of UK households owning HDTVs and Britons leading the world in accessing TV content over the internet more than 13,000 households still watch their favourite programmes on a black and white telly."

Next time you're reading any of this bullshit in the newspapers just remember that it's sent out in bulk by TV Licensing for their own means. It is a sad fact that most bone idle newspaper editors publish this stuff without any questions at all.

1 comment:

33_hertz said...

Haha remarkable isn't it?
Personally, I own a big-ass HD TV to do useful things with. I wouldn't dream of wasting it to watch the kind of programming that the BBC churns out.